Life just blows sometimes

Sometimes life just isn't fair. I start to wonder what life would be like without siblings, then I think "how could I live without my sisters?". I really don't want anymore kids, but how could I not give my little Haylee Jo, the best friends that I have with my siblings? Is that fair to short her that opportunity just because it might be too much work for me to have another child?

All of my sisters are gone. They are spread all over this wonderful country. I hate how we are all seperated. I guess it wouldn't be such a horrible thing if they weren't my best friends.

I was just put in the hospital for a kidney infection and ended up staying for 5 days. The one and only thing I wanted was my sister(and dilaudid) (my husband and mother drove me nuts). But had to realize that it couldn't happen. Neither one of us could afford her to come home for any amount of time. How did life get to be this way?

I am finally home and back to work but still feel empty. The same empty feeling since she has been gone. I tried to hide it and pretend like it doesn't bother me, but damnit it does. I miss her so much, and the kids...I miss those kids! How can it go from seeing eachother almost every day to barely talking. I want to talk to her all the time, every day , but I know that it isn't going to bring her back home. I am tired of pretending that I am ok with this becuase I'm not. I am just not ok with my best friend being so far away it takes me two days to drive to her.

However, they are planning a trip home this summer and I can't wait. But my world was crushed when she told me a certain someone doesn't want her to be gone for any time with the kids without her. PLEASE LET HER COME HOME FOR MORE THAN A WEEK. I need more than a week with her, and four of those 7 days are going to be spent driving. But will it ever be enough time? probably not...

I can't have another child without my coach...

So I wait until I can see her again.....

My new roommates name is FLU

Yeah...wtf? FLU just moved her shit right it. Making me feel like hell all over, but the good news is that Matt isnt going to get it since he isn't here, and Haylee seems to be doing ok so far. however, she will be up soon so i'm going to try to crash while she is still sleeping!!!

Later

Here we go...

Here's the first one...not much to say....yet anyway